21 year old son in jail

21 year old son in jail

helpless mom's picture
5 answers

My son was put in jail last night for the second time for assaulting his grandfather (my dad) for the second time. My parents helped me raise him since I was 16 years old when I had him. I have to admit I didn't do a great job because I was too strict and did spank him alot and my parents did spoil him alot. He has lived with them for the last 6 years and has NO respect for them. He got home drunk last night and pushed my 63 year old dad around, broke things, etc. I lived about 300 miles away and don't know what to do. My parents called the cops and he's in for assault...with 1000 bond. I think he was drunk and maybe high...not sure but it was a possibility. What do I do? I feel that I should bail him out and where will he go now? I can't have him around my other young sons ages 10 and 11 because of his belligerent behavior and disrespect...what do I DO????

Answers

robyn016's picture

i think you should leave him there, you will be able to sleep knowing where he is, i kept my son from going to jail when he was 19 i spent 8 thousand dollars which i am still paying on. he is 23 now and will be handicapped for the rest of his life because of drugs....if i knew then what i know now, he would of stayed in jail and maybe i wouldnt be going through all this. it might of scared him enough to think twice. i got my son out of so much trouble in the last 4yrs...because i was always guilty of how i raised him. your parents dont deserve that from him, good luck a

robyn016's picture

when my son just spent 42 days in jail, i would go visit him then go straight to a alanon meeting.that helped alot made me stronger.

HailMary's picture

Leave him there. We have spent everthing we have on treatment for our son and he keeps ending up back in jail. We will never be able to retire, we may loose our home, nothing we do is working. He makes promises that he doesn't keep.

If your son wants help he needs to get it on his own. You didn't do this to him, he did it to himself. I know that pain you feel is great, but please seek treatment for yourself, don't let him take what joy out of you life. I have allowed that to happen and it's a horrible way to live.

ozil000123's picture

We’re here for you and you are not alone in this. Confronting your child about the missing pill will probably be uncomfortable for both of you. But you can never be too safe or intervene too early. Casual or experimental drug use can quickly turn into drug abuse, dependence or addiction and can lead to accidents, legal trouble, and serious health issues. That’s why it’s imperative that you have an intervention as soon as your instinct tells you that something is wrong. If you are at all concerned about your child’s drug or alcohol use – or even just have a bad feeling – you can and should start the conversation.

Tina111's picture

We’re here for you and you are not alone in this. Confronting your child about the missing pill will probably be uncomfortable for both of you. But you can never be too safe or intervene too early. Casual or experimental drug use can quickly turn into drug abuse, dependence or addiction and can lead to accidents, legal trouble, and serious health issues. That’s why it’s imperative that you have an intervention as soon as your instinct tells you that something is wrong. If you are at all concerned about your child’s drug or alcohol use – or even just have a bad feeling – you can and should start the conversation.irony and wittiness.