Drinking

Dear Perez Girl,

We're here for you.

I agree with Nana Banana – your next steps are, in part, dependent on your daughter’s age.  For example, if she’s a teen living in your home, you may be able to set limits and restrictions on what she does and where she goes, but if she’s an adult living in another town, then you might be limited in what you can do to help her.  Regardless of age or distance, you can help her get better by providing support and letting her know that you’re there for her.

Without much information, I’m going to go off on a limb and assume that she’s a teen or young adult.  It might be helpful to try approaching her to have a conversation about what’s going on if you haven't already.  I’ve outlined below some helpful checklist items for you to try before and as you approach her about her drinking problem:

-       First, talk with your spouse or partner about what’s going on and come to an agreement on the position you’ll both take.  Even if you disagree on the issue of her drinking problem, commit to presenting a united front. 

-       Be prepared to be called a hypocrite.  Expect denial and possible anger.

-       Gather evidence.  Anticipate the different ways she might try to deny it.  If she says it belongs to someone else – it’s a good time to talk about doing drugs and drinking

-       Set an expected outcome.  Try working towards a desirable and realistic outcome.  For example, set a small goal and move toward it.

-       Spell out rules and consequences.  Listen to her feedback and let her help negotiate rules and consequences.  Remember, try not to set rules you will have no way of enforcing

-       If there is a history of addiction in your family, recognize it.  Use it as a way to talk to your child and regularly remind her of her elevated risk.   

-       Remind her of your support.  Reassure her that she can confide in or seek advice from you when she’s stressed or dealing with a personal issue – this can help diminish her desire to use.

For more information, please visit our Intervention eBook and Time To Act.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with.  Or if you need someone to talk to about this matter, please let me know.