My Son and heroin

My Son and heroin

lange's picture
3 answers

I just found out my 19 year old who graduated high school 2 months ago is using heroin I have nothing to take away from him to convince him to get help. I do not give him money either. My question is this do I just involve the Drug Task Force so that he gets busted or do I go get him away from the place he is staying? I cant have him live in my home with myself and my younger children as my husband works out of town and it would be putting us in danger. Please please help. Lange

Answers

Marilyn Conroy's picture

My son has been on some form of drug addiction, marijuana, crack,cocaine, heroine and god knows what else. He is 36 years old and has put the family through hell and back and has affected everyone in the family and extended family. We all have tried for years to help, rehab, walked out after 4 days, has lied, stolen, been incarcerated for I don't know how many times. I cannot trust him, he is here with me now for a week but I have sent him back early and do not want to see him again, he is so conniving I have finally woken up and seen the truth and am not going to allow him to use me anymore.

You have made a wise decision by not having your son in your house as they just disrupt your whole family and your health and wellbeing. Children can manipulate a parent so easily because all we have is hope that they will wake up to themselves, I have been waiting for 16 years, short cut your years of stress.

I am grateful for the experience as I now feel empowered that I can say no, no, no, and have no guilt.

I wish you well with your journey, till the addicts are prepared to make changes for themselves you cannot do anything.

Olivia's picture

Marilyn makes many good points.  I’d also like to recommend the following blog posts from parents who have been in your shoes – I think they may be able to help you.

Addicted to Our Drug Addict  

Dealing with Feelings: 5 Ways I Cope with My Young Adult’s Drug and Alcohol Addiction 

7 Truths About My Addict That Took 5 Years To Learn 

Acceptance: Regaining Trust and Rebuilding the Family Unit 

Remember, you are not to blame for this and you are certainly not alone.   Hope this helps.

 

Marilyn Conroy's picture

Thank you Olivia,

I must come across as a cold and hard person but as my son leaves today, I am wishing him well, the door will be open, I have suggested and am encouraging him to take up a TAFE course, to make a start, take a first step, get activated and participate in life. He has lost respect for himself and also for others that come along his path, all manners are gone, he has no sensors at all, it is sad for me to think about the choices he has made and the experiences he has gone through, yet still wont create change.

My son isn't here for the most part, (he even shoots up his methadone), it is as though something has overtaken him, lost to the dark world.

I take my hat off to the families that manage to overcome the addictions with their children, it can be a long painful journey but in the process we learn so much about the human condition and mostly about ourselves. I don't judge addicts, the homeless, or the more unfortunate, we are all products of the choices we've made, and if they are not the greatest choices, we can learn to make wiser ones.

Whatever happens to any of us in our lives they are all just experiences, it doesn't matter whether they are good or bad, they are still experiences, and from these we grow and learn to become better people, compassion, patience, tolerance and love stand out for me as I strive my very best to become the best I can possibly be on a daily basis, if we let ourselves down, there is always tomorrow, we don't have to knock ourselves around. Surrender the past, I am sure we all did the best we could with the tools we had in bringing up our children, it has taken me a long time to take it all on board and let go.

Marilyn