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Hi Joden,

I don't know if you have visited again since you last shared, but I wanted to encourage you to keep up the spirit of belief you demonstrate in your husbands' ability to heal. That spirit, consistently communicated by you, and other loved ones, is as valuable in recovery as the treatment method itself. Hope is "treatment". It will help your loved into the decision making process to accept help, and it will serve to increase his own spirit of hope during his journey in recovery.

There are multiple supports available for him, and for you. It's a good idea to read about as many of those supports as possible in order to choose those supports that will offer the best odds for inspiring healthy change for your particular circumstances. Your husband’s ability to achieve sustainable recovery will take the both of you learning what it is that can be done, next, that will serve momentum toward better health and better lived moments. 12-step supports can serve, (AA and NA,Alanon).... and there are also non-12 step supports, which support many, as well. It's important to remember that one size does not fit all when it comes to recovery. You might want to check out, "MY WAY OUT", "SMART RECOVERY", "RATIONAL RECOVERY", CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) to name a few.

If you feel you want to try a peer support group like Alanon, or others, choose wisely. Groups where the meeting facilitator and members focus consistently leans toward helping in a frame of compassionate, balanced problem solving,( rather than a tilt limited to sharing the detailed woes that come with addiction), will provide "true support". It's helpful for us to vent and share. Through this kind of gathering we know we are not alone or isolated in our challenge. But, it's counter-productive for us to get "mired in the muck" of our own, (and others), blame, self-blame, shame, and the "coulda-shoulda- woulda's".

Joden... Pick sources of support that lend and inspire a sense of "I can do this". If you don't receive an authentic sense of "I can do this", "I can remain engaged AND support my loved one in ways that inspire his/her own self-healing", then, the methodology probably isn’t a good fit for your circumstances and it's time to move on to try another that will provide that critical sense toward recovery.

Most of us must try several kinds of supports before we find the one that serves our journey best. Never give up...But do surrender to your greater wisdom fueled by learning, patience and compassion...These are the things that build the bridge to recovery.