Cocaine Addiction...
My husband is a wonderful person. But his addiction is more important to him than anything else. When I first met my husband it was through a childhood friend and I
thought he was the perfect man for me, but little to behold I started finding out his little
ways. He started taking off in my car, taking my debit card and checks. His momma
told me to start going to church for myself and pray. I have sat up many nights praying, crying and worrying myself sick. When he is not on drugs he is the most wonderful man
that you could ever met. Then as soon as he dips back in it gets crazy. He has hit me,
tore my vehicles up, spending money and pawing everything we have that he can pawn. Now its gotten so bad he got a job as a detailer for a dealership and keep taking off in their cars till finally he got fired but no charges was filed. Found another job I ending up telling his bossman and they kept him working until we moved. Got another job done the same thing didnt get fired, but quit and found another one this Sunday as a foreman. I have called the police and because we are married they dont do nothing when he takes off. He gets mad at me and tries to make me feel guilty. His mom is his enabler, everytime he pawns something she runs and gets it out of the pawn shop. And she tells me to be a help mate. How can I. I called the police on him today and nothing was done. I told the police that the last time he took off with my car he got jumped and the drug dealers threw bricks at my vehicle and busted out my windows and hit him in the head with one of the bricks. They still didnt do anything. I am so afraid that he is really gonna get hurt bad. And I feel like I am married to his mom also. She gets mad at me when I call the police and doesnt understand why I try to get him in trouble. I am not trying to get him into trouble I was trying to reach out for help. I see him working and doing everything he can to get more money for crack. And the drug dealers laughing at him. I mean he has worked over 60 hrs some weeks and all that money goes into the hands of someone who helps kill people is the way I look at it. The only thing I know to do is leave but his mom keeps telling me to pray and hang in there. My 18 year old child went to stay with her father and that was a hard thing for her to do, because me and my children are very close. My 12 year old son sees this man get away with so much I am afraid that he will grow up and think it is ok to do what my husband does. My husband has been to rehabs before me and saids they are the worldly help and they dont work. Hes not ready to seek any help for no one and I know God can deliver my husband and I know he prays but he said that it is not as easy as I think it is. He rented a riding lawn mower from Aarons and now I think I saw it in the pawn shop today when I went to get his brothers chain saw out because his brother had let him use it and he pawned it and his brother wanted it back. I called Aarons and told them. But every time my husband has got keys and money he is on the streets. I cant help him anymore. I Love him but he has broke me. I wanna leave but he always takes and takes half the time I dont have no gas and money for anything. I have went without eating so my son can have whats left. I have reached out for help from the police and friends and family and cant no one help me. I am scared for myself and my husband. I have prayed and prayed. If anyone has any advice for me please feel free. I need advice from people who has dealt with this before. I feel like I should just go on and leave when I get a chance. I feel stupid for ever thinking this is gonna end because it keeps on getting worse. And his momma said it will get worse because Jesus is working behind the scenes before it get better. I am so confused. I love my husband and i want the man that I fell in love with back but it seems like that man is gone. I can go on and on.
User Comments
I need to be honest with you, you really need to think about your son. Having a child in a home with an active crack addict is dangerous. Your son has already been emotionally affected and will need help in the form of counseling. He is too young to understand that your husband has a disease. I know that when you met your husband he was wonderful, but now he is a drug addict that is destroying your family.
As far as your husband, there is nothing you can do to help him. He is addicted to cocaine, steals, lies, is abusive, etc. You say the police won't do anything to help, but have they told you to get a restraining order? A huge problem in these situations is that the spouse often feels guilty and forgives the addicted spouse only to repeat the cycle over and over. Police will not help unless you are serious about protecting yourself and your child. You have to choose what matters more: the health and well being of you and your son or your drug addicted husband. He has to decide to quit on his own, and it sounds like he will wind up in prison before he gets clean. His mother is an enabler. When someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol in a family- the entire family is sick too. There may be a plan from God, but again not at your expense. God would not want you to stay with someone who abuses you, God would want you to take care of your children, just like your husband's mother is trying to take care of her son. She just isn't doing it the right way, she is doing it in ways that are helping her son stay sick. She needs help too. You and your son need help also, and your daughter that left. You have all been victims of your husband's drug use. Help yourself and your son- that is what you can do. You can't help your husband!!!!
I have been addicted to crack. I know how powerful it is and how it turns you into a monster. The only thing that matters is, MORE CRACK. The person you used to be disappears. I have been clean for nearly seven years. I still have days when I think about getting high, but I know it is not worth losing my life, my family. I tried to quit many times before it actually stuck. I got in trouble with the law, my job, friends. I lied, stole, worked lots of hours. All for crack. How did I get clean? I was sick of destroying my life, hurting my family, I went to treatment, meetings every day for a year. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to stay clean.
Just let go of whatever is keeping you there, and get help for yourself. Like I said earlier- go to a shelter for battered women, take your son and never look back. Pray for strength to let go of your husbands grasp and just leave him. God will see you through when you do the right thing. I believe this because it is true. It worked for me. Somehow we find what we need when we are living a righteous life. I hope and pray you are able to move on and get out of this nightmare before its too late!!!
Dear Mystic1974, Nobody is doing anything because you are not doing anything about it. It is your life and your sons. You need to go see a councilor that specializes in substance abuse. You need to go and help yourself become stronger. You cannot make anyone change, but you can make yourself change. These people will help you with this. They will help you so you can understand and how it all works. You may end up going to get help to fix things in your relationship, and you might end up deciding you do not want that life style. However, you need to go see them and educate yourself. You also need to look at the big picture where your son is concerned. Do you want him to grow up thinking that's the way you treat people. Do you want your future daughter in law and grandchildren possibly getting beaten, hit, mentally abused. On my profile is a list of things that people do to enable addicts without realizing it. It is called setting limits and it is documentation from my councilors office. Please read it. Also there is an article on this site called 7 truths about my addict that took 5 years to learn. You should read it. I found it to very educational and inspiring. I have found in life that your life is what you are going to make of it. If you are going to sit around and wait for him to just quit using, then I guess you are going to have to live with the consequences that come with it. It's just sad that your son has no choice in the matter. You have the power to make changes in your own life so what are you waiting for. I wish you well in your journey to come. Remember though you are not alone and their are many people in this world committed to helping people that need this help and support. You are the only one stopping yourself. Good luck.
It is a tragic story that you have revealed here. I personally feel that the only thing you can do to bring your husband out of cocaine addiction is to give him lots of love and make him realize how much you and your kids love him. Share your feelings with family and friends you trust and maybe they can find a solution. If nothing works, convince him to visit a de-addiction center.
